How Should You Respond?

How Should You Respond?
written by Chris Baker

How do you respond to people when they hurt you through their actions? Do you respond in like manner? This seems to be the popular approach. I once heard a saying, “do to others BEFORE they do to me.” In other words, I know you are going to hurt or offend me; therefore, I will hurt you first.  Sometimes we refuse to speak to people, somehow thinking the silent treatment will hurt them like they hurt us. Other times, we yell at people, hit them, talk about them behind their back, rip apart their character, or respond with the exact action that hurt us. Point being, we want others to feel the same level of pain that we were caused! This is a natural human response, although, this is contrary to what Jesus modeled and taught in the Scriptures. Let’s see what Jesus has to say about this subject.

Take a moment and read Matthew 7:7-12 by clicking here. Jesus begins by talking about our prayer life. We should be excited to go to our heavenly Father in prayer! He longs to give us good gifts, which is why He gives the example of earthly fathers giving good gifts to their children. Obviously, if you are a good parent, you will not give something to your child that will harm them. You know what things are good for them and aim to give them to your children. Young children cannot communicate with words; however, their mothers know what they need. Mothers also know what will harm their child. For example, if the child desperately wants to shove the spoon in the electrical outlet, the mother will not say “sure hon give it a shot.” The good mother would not want her child to be harmed by the electricity. 

The Lord longs to answer our prayers. However, we need to ask for the proper things. How do we know what the proper things are? Scripture says that we need to seek the Lord’s will. If we are seeking the Lord’s will then we will be desiring good things, things that will benefit us. Examine your prayer life. Are you praying with selfish desires and motives? Our part is to ask, seek and knock, while God’s part is to give, reveal and answer. Take some time and examine your prayer life and motives. Do they benefit you or please God? 

Jesus then goes on to sum up the previous section. Chapters 5-7:12 are known as the Olivet Discourse. It is the sermon that Jesus gave on the Mount of Olives. This next statement summarizes the last two chapters. Matthew 7:12 says, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets” (NIV). You do not need to follow a bunch of rules if your aim and desire is to love your neighbor. If you desire to truly love your neighbor, then you will not intentionally harm them. Contrast my opening paragraph with Jesus’ words above. If someone says something that hurts you, Jesus is saying that we should respond to that person in a way that we would like to be responded to. That does not mean people are not accountable for their actions. We should tell people when they hurt our feelings and explain how their actions made us feel. However, we are to respond in a loving manner because our goal is not retaliation. In effect, you are offering the other person undeserved grace. 

Imagine a world where people treated everyone with love and grace, as opposed to how they may deserve to be treated. There is no greater example of this in Scripture than that of Jesus Christ! He has just been brutally beaten to the point he is unrecognizable, forced to carry His own death instrument up a large hill, nailed to it, hung in a manner that was intended for Him to slowly suffocate to death, was ridiculed while handing there, and yet responds with grace. In Luke 23:34, “Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (NIV). 

It is not our job to give people what they deserve, we are to extend the grace they do not deserve! Where do we get the strength to do this? The Holy Spirit can enable you to respond in love and grace. If you ask, seek, and knock, requesting the infilling of God’s Holy Spirit, then He will give it to you! Why wouldn’t He want to give you a wonderful gift such as this? All we need to do is ask! Ask the Lord for the grace to treat others as He would have you treat them, not as you may think they deserve to be treated. This is impossible in your own strength, however, “[you] can do all things through him who gives [you] strength” (NIV)!

It is not our job to give people what they deserve, we are to extend the grace they do not deserve! Where do we get the strength to do this? The Holy Spirit can enable you to respond in love and grace. If you ask, seek, and knock, requesting the infilling of God’s Holy Spirit, then He will give it to you! Why wouldn’t He want to give you a wonderful gift such as this? All we need to do is ask! Ask the Lord for the grace to treat others as He would have you treat them, not as you may think they deserve to be treated. This is impossible in your own strength, however, “[you] can do all things through him who gives [you] strength” (NIV)! 

Please click here, to learn more about beginning a relationship with Jesus.